Fear of First Step

April 18, 2014 2 Comments

Road to the Unknown640

 

Hi, my name is Lisa and I have a fear of novelty and a fear of the unknown.

I have a fear of novelty.

New things frighten me.  I don't mean things as in objects, but things happening in life.  I fear driving to a new area and getting lost.  I fear going to someone's house for the first time.  I fear the first day of an event such as school, a new job, a new doctor, etc.  I fear any activity I have not previously done.

I have a fear of the unknown.

I blame my fear of novelty on my fear of the unknown.  If I knew what to expect, it wouldn't be so scary.  I don't like not knowing what is going on.  I don't like not knowing what to do.  I don't like not knowing the rules.  I don't like not knowing the players.

When I'm feeling fearful, I do tend to procrastinate.  I procrastinate out of pure laziness as well, but that's a topic for a different day.  It would be so nice if things came with instructions, ya know, sorta like:

"You put your right foot in, You put your right foot out; You put your right foot in, And you shake it all about. You do the Hokey-Pokey, And you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!"

Wouldn't it be awesome if everything we ever needed to do or know had a little instructional tune like the Hokey Pokey??

I have never gone skiing.  It's not that I don't want to.  I really do want to try skiing.  I think it would be tons of fun.  It's not skiing itself that scares me.  I'm scared of all things I need to do to get to the top of the mountain.

Where do I go?  What do I wear?  If I rent skis & boots, where do I store my boots while I'm skiing?  How does that lift thing actually work?  What if I can't get on or even worse, what if I fall off?  Do I need to wait until someone gives me a signal to go before I start skiing down the mountain?  How the heck do I stop?

I have all these thoughts running through my head and no answers...this is how my fear gets the best of me.  I should just sign up for a lesson, but then there's a whole new can of fears I just opened...and it just continues.  The only way to get past my fears is to just force myself to do it.

I procrastinate all the time with creative projects because of these same fears.  I don't know the technique or the rules or the etiquette.  Instead of experimenting and learning as I go, I go on the internet and I research until I'm blue in the face.  I make pit stops on the way to check out what's going on with Facebook or Twitter.  I allow myself to do anything that will allow me not to do that!

When I first gave drawing a try, it was because I needed an outlet to escape from my world which was crumbling around me.  Drawing was me procrastinating from dealing with my life.  This was actually a good thing because I just jumped right in.  I found a website, WetCanvas, and they had tutorials on how to draw.  I followed along and posted my drawings and received some helpful critiques.

One would think this little tidbit would give me proof that I have nothing to fear, even if I don't know how to play the game.  But, it doesn't stop me from fearing the next unknown in my life.

Do you have a fear of novelty, fear of the unknown, fear of failure and even fear of success?

 

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2 Responses

Lisa R. Ullrich
Lisa R. Ullrich

August 24, 2017

It does help when you have someone who isn’t bothered by it to take the plunge with you. Then it’s not so scary. Great quote! Thanks, Iris.

Iris
Iris

August 24, 2017

YES omg this resonates so much with me!!! I’m really lucky in that I have a very adventurous husband, it really helps me get past those ‘fear’ obstacles and experience much more than if it was just me by myself.

This reminds me of that Marianne Wiliamson Quote: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

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